Shades of Black, Gray, and Red
by TrapezeArtist
Summary: "Bethany, are you asleep? "Another round of shrilled sound rang through my metimes in the middle of the night the lunatics in the asylum would scream and cry out. "They are so loud Benjamin, so very loud." ABANDONED
1. The Asylum

**A/N: My very first FanFiction! Thank You to all who decide to read this =)**

Shades of black and grey, starvation, beatings, and cold are what I live now. The only good thing I have is my brother. We are stuck in this small, damp, dark, cell. We have one small window and we can't even dream to see through it due to how far up it is. We are barley fed and sleep on dirty piles of straw. I don't know how much time has passed since we were placed in this horrid asylum, but the seconds drag into hours and the hours into months. The black and grey are very different from the red that got us here. The more red there was the less our mother lived. Up until the point there was so much red covering the floor, my brother, and I that her heart stopped all together. She hated us and we could never figure out why. She was mean and horrid. She yelled, and hit, and never cared. We no longer could live like that, so we decided to make her stop.

_Flashback_

"_You stupid children, are you even capable of doing something right!" thwack. She hit me right across the face, not for the first time but definitely her last._

"_Yes, we can!" my brother shouted back at our tyrannical mother, "And we will!" he took out the letter opener he had stolen off out father's desk and hidden in his back trouser pocket. _

"_And what exactly do you plan on doing with that you stupid twit!" I shut my eyes tight expecting another loud thwack, but it never came. I opened my eyes to see my mother clutching at the letter opener that was now crudely lodged in her stomach, no longer in my twin brother's hand. She pulled it out and dropped it with a loud clang to the floor. Blood gushed out of the space where the opener had been only seconds before._

"_You rotten demons… you've gone and tried to kill me! You'll get it you will!" she tried stumbling forward toward us, but only fell to the ground. Blood started pooling around her as she croaked out, "Just wait and see this won't kill me! Just wait, you'll see! Then you will both get it!"_

_I couldn't let that happen, if she doesn't die it will be even worse than it was. I reached for the discarded letter opener, lifted it up, and rammed it into the back of her neck. Blood spurted out over my brother and I, and it spread everywhere. The puddle around our mother grew and grew until red was all I could see. I looked over toward my brother and he was smiling. It took me a minute to realize that so was I. I was happy, we both were. She was gone, and we had proved her wrong. We no longer had to deal with her and we were happy._

Now we are here in this dank place to rot for however long they decide. At least it is just my brother and I in the cell, they won't have us near other people because of they say we are dangerous. We don't bother to tell them otherwise because of the stories we here of the cells packed full of screaming, drooling, crazies. We are also probably the only children. I haven't seen any others let alone 8 year olds like us.

"Bethany, are you asleep?" my brother whispered to me from his make-shift bed.

"No, I can't it's too cold, and they are screaming again." Sometimes in the middle of the night the lunatics would scream and cry out. It could be so loud and terrifying. I could hear my brother crawling over to me slowly as to not be heard by the guards. He crawled next to me and hugged me.

"Shush, it'll be ok we can keep each other warm, try and shut out the noise, they will stop eventually." I shut my eyes tight as another round of shrilled sound rang through my ears.

"They are so loud Benjamin, so very loud."

**A/N: Please review =) see the button over there at the bottom. Yeahhhh! That one! Press is please =) And then write something, even if it's constructive criticism. -Saph**


	2. Home

Ch2

5 years later

I rolled over to my side and open my eyes to see Benjamin sitting up and staring up at the window as he does many mornings.

"Good morning brother." I propped myself up on my two arms and sat up. He turned to look at me and smiled.

"You're up, the sun rose a while ago, I didn't want to wake you." Although I had become accustomed to the almost constant screaming, from time to time I still had difficulty sleeping.

"Thank you."

"Benjamin and Bethany Barker, both of you up! You've been released! Been decided you both be mentally fit!" We had long ago given up the hope of leaving this wretched place, but the day had finally come and we could leave. No more screaming or beatings. We could go home, wherever that may be now. We had no belongings to really speak of so we followed the guard down the narrow hallway with packed cells and lunatics grabbing at us from behind bars. Though I couldn't say I minded much at all because we were finally getting out.

We were forcefully thrust out into the bright daylight. I couldn't see a thing. When my eyes finally adjusted the guard was gone. I turned around and I saw and older man that seamed oddly familiar, but I couldn't seem to place from where.

"Father?" I turned my head to the side and saw my brother oddly agape not quite believing the words that came out of his mouth. I turned my head back to the man and took a long hard look before I realized that he was right. The man standing in front of us on the pavement was our indeed our father.

"Been in that institution five years and that all you have to say?" He glanced between me and Benjamin seemingly deciding we could no longer stand idly on the side of the road. He ushered us to the nearby waiting carriage.

My father, Victor Barker, had always been a simple man. He had a wife, children, and a well-paying job. He read the daily press, drank gin and talked with other men. He had always been good to us, but he had always been ignorant as well. On one occasion I remember Benjamin had tried to tell him about the abuse, but father waved it off and said "discipline is not abuse son." After that we never tried to approach the subject matter again.

Looking at him now sitting across from me I realize how much Benjamin and I look like him. Our ebony hair, dark eyes, and sharp features are all from him. Although many memories of my mother I can remember the night we killed her as clear as when we did it. I remember her soft elegant face and her unfitting cruel hard gaze. Her blond hair and blue eyes in such contrast to us there were times I used to refuse that she was our mother at all.

The carriage came to a halt. My father smiled at us and walked out followed by my brother and finally me. I looked up at the house I lived in up to the age of eight. It had barely changed, almost identical to my memory. From the almond brick exterior to the rose beds up front.

"Well c'mon then into the house you go. You both must get bathed and changed into proper attire." He motioned us toward the house. I glanced down at the rags I was wearing. It had never really occurred to me about my clothing. After all I had worn pretty much the same thing for 5 years.

Inside changes were not apparent if any were made at all. The eloquent rugs, hardwood floors, and rich burgundy walls the same as last we were here.

"I assume you recall where your rooms are. I shall have the maids fill up tubs and pick out clothing for you two. Hurry if you can there is someone I would like to introduce to you both." Me and my brother both climbed the stairs and found our rooms. Who would he want to introduce us to?

The bathtub had been filled my one of the maids and I slid into the water. In the institution there were mass bathing days and big bulky guards scrubbed you down roughly. Though bathing days were rare and I would get covered in dirt and grime. As I got older these days scared me more and more as women have been known to get taken advantage of. I'm now at the age of 13 and I'm sure that if I were there through another bating day I would've been.

After I washed the dirt of my skin and the scum out of my hair I returned to my room where a dress had been laid out and a maid waited to assist me getting into the corset. The dress was an elegant dark blue silver and black trim, lace, and embroidery. I was given a simple pair of lace-up black boots as footwear. The maid whose name I learned was Magritte put my hair up in complicated bun with a few stay hairs framing my face. Leaving my room I saw my brother. He was wearing a pair of beige trousers, a white shirt and suspenders. He too was taking in my appearance. We hadn't seen each other in anything but dirty rags for five years. Both of us clean and well-dressed is an oddity. He smiled at me and told me I looked like a proper lady. I told him I felt like one.

Downstairs we were directed to the main parlor by another one of the maids. Entering the room I noticed that the flooring had been changed in this room. I don't blame my father. The old floor would've been stained with his deceased wife's blood. Who would want to keep that flooring?

Father was sitting on the sofa with a slender, blond haired, hazel eyed woman dressed in a bright yellow dress. She smiled as she looked over my brother and I. Her gaze lingered on Benjamin for a little too long that neither I nor he was comfortable with. Who is she and why in the world is she looking at my brother like a piece of meat? My father sensing our confusion decided to break the uncomfortable silence that had filled the room.

"Ah, Benjamin, Bethany, I would like you both to meet my new wife, and your step-mother, Elizabeth Tannon." A new wife and our step mother, is our father mental? I suppose I should have never ruled out that he would remarry, but I find it highly surprising that he did.

"Father, I'm sorry I don't mean to be rude, but may I assume she is aware of what happened to our biological mother?" She shifted uncomfortably at my question. Good.

"Yes, she is, and I have explained to her that it was a mental lapse that has been corrected by the institution, and that both of you are mentally well and fit. I have also assured her that she need not worry of such a horrid thing happening to her. I am correct aren't i?"

"Yes, father of course. As you said we are both perfectly mentally fit." My father nodded at Benjamin seemingly satisfied with his response.

"It is quite nice to meet you both, I am sure we will all get along smashingly." She spoke for the first time. Her voice, at least to me, sounded like nails on a chalkboard. I could tell this woman would get on my nerves. She gave me a bad feeling, although i do not believe she will attempt to beat us as our mother had.

Magritte came in and told us that lunch had been prepared and was waiting to be served. We all exited the parlor and moved to the table where tablemats, water glasses, silverware, plates, and food had been set up. Benjamin and I both devoured the good-tasting food, and asked for seconds. Elizabeth made some comment about it unruly for a young lady to eat as such, but said it could be excused this time because i haven't grown with a good example.

Elizabeth tried several times to strike up conversation with me, but mostly Benjamin, until she realized neither of us were interested. So instead of asking questions, she went on about useless things she had done earlier that day and plans for the rest it too. But it wasn't her irritating voice or boring plans that angered me the most about her. She couldn't seem to stop looking at Benjamin. Whether it be glancing at him between small bites of food, or ogling him while she thinks no one is looking. As usual my father remained clueless just as he had when I was a child, blissfully ignorant in his perfect world refusing to see the many cracks in the glass.

When in truth it's just a matter of time before it shatters.


	3. Crying

**A/N: Thanks for xDazedandConfusedX for reviewing! As of now I will try and update every day if I can, but I have finals next week so it might slow down. This story will probably be on the long side because of how much time I want to cover.**

Benjamin's POV

Life out of the institution had become some-what normal. The shock of having a new step mother had worn off, though her constant staring me hadn't. Elizabeth was constantly trying to talk to me and during dinner I could feel her eyes on me. It is highly uncomfortable and I hope she rids herself of the exercise soon. Ogling your step son is not something people make a usual habit of.

I was currently staring out my bedroom window watching as people pass and go about their lives. I had made a hobby out of doing such a thing. After so many years staring at a window I could not see out of, I find the practice comforting.

A light knock at the door shook me out of my thoughts.

"Come in." Elizabeth walked in wearing a mildly irritating pink dress.

"Hello Benjamin!" She cheerily went and sat on my bed. "Why don't you come over here? I have a proposal for you." She patted the place on the bed beside her. I walked over and sat next to her. She smiled and put her hand on my leg. If she did not move her hand off soon I would move it for her. "You see I had been thinking something very interesting for a while now. In fact ever since you arrived back home."

"Such as?"

"Well, I might as well just show you Benjamin." She leaned on top of me and pinned me to the bed. Things had defiantly gone way too far.

"Get off!" She laughed at me and only held me down tighter.

"I'd rather not do that Benjamin in truth I am actually quite comfortable this way. And you can do nothing to stop me for if you do I will just tell your father that you and your sister attacked me and will have you shipped back off to that asylum. That wouldn't be good for Bethany at all though. She is getting older and growing up. I'm sure you have heard the many stories of what happens to women in places such as that. And we wouldn't want that to happen to her now would we?" No. I can't let that happen to her. She is my sister, and I have to protect her no matter what.

"You are a horrid creature and you will rot in hell for this." She smiled at me and told me that she was fine with that because I would be there to. There was nothing more for me to do except shut my eyes and wait for the pain to end. And for the first time ever, I wished I was back at that institution.

Bethany's POV

Benjamin and I grew accustomed to normal life again, a life with clothing, food, and most of all no screaming. Well most of the time that is, I would get the occasional nightmare that I was back in the institution with the lunatics. Nights such as these Benjamin often stays with me until I fall back asleep much like he did before we came back home. I spent most of my days reading or exploring London. It had been a long time since I could walk out on the streets and see what there is to see. Benjamin would come along with me for walks around the market and such, but he also rather enjoyed looking out the window of his room. He could sit there for hours watching people pass and go about their days.

As days went on Elizabeth my "stepmother" had continued to criticize the way I acted and did things. She told me many times in one day that "proper ladies don't behave as such" not to mention her forgiving me saying "you were never taught better". As the days go on I dislike this woman increasingly more. The constant starring at Benjamin had not stopped either, in fact I believe it has increased! She is married to my father but is showing an uncomfortable amount of interest in his son. This woman was troubled.

At current moment I was sitting in my room by the windowsill reading and enjoying the relative warmth of the day. Benjamin walked into my room and sat in the bed, looking distressed.

"Brother? Are you ok? You look distraught. What's wrong?" I maneuvered over to the bed and sat next to him. "What is it?"

"I, I think, Elizabeth just raped me." He turned to look at me with pain in his eyes. "I couldn't stop her she would've sent us back to that horrible place. I couldn't let that happen, I just couldn't you don't deserve that." I just stared at him in amazement.

"But what about you? You did not deserve this! Oh, Benjamin. I can't believe she did that. It's ok we will take care of her like we took care of mother! She will regret hurting you."

"No, we can't they will send us back. If we go back there now there is no telling where they might put us. They could decide to put us in a cell with the rest of them. You could get taken advantage of."

"But you were just taken advantage of. Oh I knew the way that woman was looking at you was wrong." I hugged him close and told him that I wouldn't let her touch him again. And there in my arms my brother did something I rarely had ever seen him do. He cried.

**A/N: I ask all who read to please review also. I accept constructive criticism and want to hear what you have to say. I also accept anonymous reviewers because I know that plenty of people read stories but don't have accounts. Also to anyone reading the story I thank you for doing so and I want you to know it means a lot. =) - Saph**


	4. Announcment

**A/N: Yay! Another chapter! I thank all who are reading this, though I don't think that too many are. But to whoever is thank you! Also great thanks to futonboy15 and SpringSunrise for reviewing! Best friends are awesome that way. =)**

**Disclaimer: **

**Me: (goes running up into the barber shop) "Sweeney!" **

**Sweeney: "What in the bloody hell do you want?"**

**Me: "I just realized something! For three whole chapter I forgot to inform my readers, the few I have at least, that I don't own you!"**

**Sweeney: "That is certainly a comforting thought."**

**Me: "But it is ok, because I still own my story, its plot line, and my original characters in it!"**

**Sweeney: "And now that you have shared this annoying revelation with me, you can leave my shop!"**

**Me: (think about it) "Nah I don't want to its fun up here!"**

**Sweeney: (face smack)**

It's been 4 weeks since the incident and we had been making sure to avoid Elizabeth as much as possible. We would go on all day walks, or hide out in the attic where she couldn't find us. I made a promise I intended to keep. I won't ever let that woman hurt him again.

That day we were out on a walk exploring the docks. The sun was shining down on us both, me in my light purple dress and him in his usual, beige trousers and a white shirt. We had to squint against the bright sunlight as we walked by and watched as the sailors worked to prepare the ships for sea. Many of them were loading and unloading goods. We watched as the captain of a ship exchanged dialogue with one of his crew members.

"Hey, you sailor, wot's your name?" The captain called to a young looking sailor around the age of seventeen.

"Sailor Marcus Hope Sir, reporting for duty!" Marcus saluted his superior officer looking excited and cheerful.

"I don't recognize you! Why are you here?"

"I'm a new recruit Sir! I'll be heading out with you on the next voyage!"

"Well don't just stand there go load those crates over yonder!"

"Yessir!" the young sailor ran off to do as he was told. I giggled at the interesting exchange. It was easy to tell that Marcus had a lot of hard work ahead of him. I wonder if he will be able to handle it.

When the sun started to set we headed back to our house on Scrib Street. Walking in, we saw our father and greeted him. He informed us that dinner would be ready soon and that Elizabeth had an important announcement to make. Benjamin and I could only hope it would be divorce. But neither of us saw that happening anytime soon.

When dinner had been cooked and laid out on the table we gathered to hear our step-demon's announcement. Elizabeth was smiling smugly at whatever information she had yet to relay to us.

"So what is it you want to tell us dear?" My father asked genuinely interested, though he was the only one.

"Well, I had my suspicions earlier this week so I decided to visit the doctor and it has been confirmed that I am bearing a child." She beamed at my father and gave a side glance to Benjamin from across the table.

"Love, is it true? This is fantastic news!" my father was so happy, if only he knew what the story was.

The story itself was a rather simple one too. She raped my brother and is now having his child. It is beyond horrendous and I can only imagine what Benjamin may be feeling. I glanced over and what I saw in his eyes confirmed my belief. He was filled with hate for the bastard child and its mother.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review! -Saph**


	5. Love

**A/N: Hello! I'm sorry I haven't updated in a few days. I have been busy with finals. Luckily there are only two days left! So hopefully I can start updating sooner when summer comes around. Then again maybe not because I have camp. Yay C. =)! But yeah I will update as soon as I can. Great thanks to xDazedandConfusedX and AndromedaTodd for reviewing!**

**Disclaimer: **

**Me- "Hey Sweeney?"**

**Sweeney- "What is it that you want **_**this**_** time you insufferable girl?"**

**Me- "Even though I don't own you can I give you a hug?"**

**Sweeney- "NO!"**

**Me- =(**

**4 Years Later**

It had been four years since we had been let out of the asylum, four years since we had come back to live at home, four years since my step mother raped my twin brother, and three and three quarters of a year since she gave birth to his child. Benjamin could not stand that young girl, in any way, shape, or form. She was the product of something disgusting and horrific. My brother wished to take no part in that and neither did I. We avoided her and her mother like the plague. Elizabeth had given birth to a healthy baby girl named Darla, but as far as Benjamin and I are concerned she is the devil.

The bright side was that I was now seventeen and considered a woman. Men wishing to court me came around. Though I haven't found one I liked much yet. I am lucky enough to have a father that is willing to let me make my own decision. Though I'm sure any man I pick would have to live up to my father's and brother's standards too.

Benjamin had begun work as a barber, found he enjoyed it, and had discovered he a talent for it as well. He had obtained a wondrous set of silver razors that he used in pride. He polished them every night to keep them like new and treated them with amazing care. He would occasionally let me touch them or help shine them. Many days I have spent in the shop he works at and helped by handing him what he requires. His customers always leave happy, often claiming he is the best barber they had ever been to. And the customer he had now was doing just that.

"Good god! This shave is the best I have received in my many years! You have a bright future as a barber young man!" the grateful elder gave my brother his commission and left swearing he would recommend all he knew to Benjamin.

"Wow! Another happy customer! Benjamin, if things keep up the way they have, you'll be swarming with business!" he just smiled at me and shook his head. Sitting on my stool I glanced around the hectic barber shop. People where busy at work cutting hair and caring to their customers. As I was observing I noticed one barber in particular telling a joke to his customer. The joyous sound filled up the crowded space and lit up the entire room.

"Hey, brother, who is he?" I nodded over to the laughing barber.

"Who, him? His name is Lucas. Why do you ask?"

"No reason in particular, just curious. Tell me about him."

"Well, he is a skilled barber, nice guy I suppose." He was also tall and pale with dark hair and green eyes. His loose white shirt, gray trousers, and relaxed demeanor gave off the most amazing feeling about him.

"Are you two acquaintances?"

"I would say so yes. I have spoken to him a few times over different matters. Why are you so curious?"

"I'm not quite sure. He just has this aura about him."

Evening set in and Benjamin closed up his work station.

"I'm going to go use the washroom before we walk home, Bethany." I nodded to show him I understood. After he had left for the washroom I took a walk over to Lucas. My heart was pounding against my ribcage. I was nervous. Would he even want to talk to me? I need to find out.

"Hello my name is Bethany, Bethany Barker. My brother is Benjamin Barker. He works over across the room." It seemed like ages when in truth he responded immediately, yet almost dazed.

"Oh, well hello Miss Bethany Barker. My name is Lucas Shrift and it's a pleasure to meet your acquaintance." I smiled and felt my cheeks warm. I'm sure I was blushing. And I never blush. My heart was pounding even more wildly then before. How is it that this man I barely know can make me react like this? We both stood there gazing into each other's eyes. I felt my cheeks grow even warmer as our stares continued to deepen. There is just something about him, something I can't place, that makes it impossible for me to tear my eyes away from his.

"Am I interrupting something?" Benjamin was back from the washroom.

"Not at all Benjamin I was just meeting your lovely sister." Lucas replied tearing his amazing green eyes away from my reddish-brown ones. I feel oddly empty. I miss his gaze. I miss the amazing feeling of warmth that filled me when he spoke. "I hope I am not overstepping any boundaries. I just saw her alone so I decided to keep her company until you got back." He turned to me and my heart, once again, quickened pace. "It was a pleasure meeting you Miss Bethany, and I hope to speak to you again soon." He wanted to see me again.

Benjamin and I leave the shop and make our way towards home. He smirked at me almost knowingly.

"Are you sure you're just curious?"

I don't even bother answering him because to be honest, I'm not quite sure of the answer myself.

**Benjamin's POV **

I woke up with the sunlight shining through my window and into my eyes. The sun can be so irritating.

"Brother? Oh, you're awake! I was coming to inform you that breakfast is ready and waiting."

"Thank you Bethany. I will be right down." She has grown so much. It's almost as if she doesn't need me to protect her anymore. I will still be waiting though, in case she does.

I willed myself out of bed and got dressed in a white shirt, beige trousers, and black shoes, my usual attire since returning home.

Downstairs breakfast was waiting as Bethany told me. I took my seat beside her and began to eat. Darla came bounding down the stairs with a disgustingly cheery smile on her face. Ugh just, horrid. I hate her, I have no desire to know her, and I barley even know who she is. As far as I can tell she is a normal child, but I hate her. I hate her because every day she reminds me of how weak I was. Of what happened. It's wrong to hate her so much. She can probably tell. Bethany and I could tell that our mother hated us. Then again the abuse was a big giveaway. No matter how much I hate her I dare never do that. I would never put any child through that pain. Not even her.

"Hello Benjamin, Bethany, Father, Mother." I nodded at her Bethany said a half-hearted good morning. Elizabeth and Father greeted the young child warmly.

I finished off my breakfast and got ready to head out to the barber shop. Bethany caught up to me before I left.

"May I come with you again today?" This had to do with Lucas, I am sure of it.

"Yes sister, you may." I smiled at her. She likes him.

From the second we walked to the barber shop she scanned for Lucas. When she found him I saw her face light up. Her eyes sparkled with something I rarely saw, love.

"You may go over to him if you like. It will take a minute for me to set up." She smiled widely at me and bounced across the room to go see Lucas. I chuckled as I watched her. My sister is finally interested in someone. But as happy as I am for her I must remember to interrogate him thoroughly later.

As I finished setting up my station, Mr. Reed, a regular customer of mine, walked in followed by a beautiful young woman with wheat-like yellow hair and blue eyes that reflected a clear summer sky. Dressed in her pale blue summer dress, she smiled and looked around the barber shop.

"Ah, Mr. Barker! How are you today lad?" He cheerily greeted me and sat down in the old oak barber chair.

"Very well, Sir. How is business? Mr. Reed worked at the bank as a tax collector, just as my father does. When my father mentioned I was working as a barber Mr. Reed wanted to see what I could do. He was surprised to find what a good job I had done thought I had just started. He now comes to my barber shop whenever he desires a haircut or a shave.

"So what would you like today Mr. Reed? A trim, or maybe a shave, both perhaps?" I took care of my customers well.

"A shave will do far today Benjamin. Where is your sister? She often is here. She isn't ill is she?"

"No she is fine, and she is here." I motioned over to Bethany talking to Lucas. They were both laughing and smiling like they have known each other for years. It is refreshing to see her so happy, especially with another person. We both have been through so much hurt. It makes is very hard to trust people

"Ah I see! A possible suitor?"

I chuckled lightly. "Yes, quite possibly I believe." And I hope so. She deserves to be happy.

Remembering the young woman with him, he introduced her. "Oh, how rude of me, this is my beautiful daughter Lucy."

"Hello Mr. Barker, it is a pleasure to meet you." Lucy smiled as she greeted me and I felt my heart sink into my stomach. She was gorgeous just sitting there, but now her smiling at me, oh and her voice, a voice of angels.

"No Miss Lucy, the pleasure is all mine." She chuckled at my comment. She chuckled! She finds me comical! Wait, is that good or bad? Is she mocking me or did it amuse her? Oh but it doesn't matter, to hear her amazing laugh is enough.

As I went on to shave Mr. Reed we talked about politics and recent news. All the while I continue to wonder about Lucy. Just the sound of her name made my mind buzz. When would I see her again? Would I ever see her again? Does she even want to see me again? What does she like to do? Is she betrothed? Oh god, what if she is betrothed? Questions such as these swarmed my thoughts until I finished her father's shave, which I had deliberately dragged on longer than usual. The elder man did not seem to notice. He thanked me, paid and, bid me farewell. And then Lucy, beautiful and glowing. Saying goodbye and watching her leave wrenched my heart and soul out of my chest. I had no idea if I would even see her again. Nothing has ever hurt like this before. No one has ever made my heart and head react like she did. Lucy Reed. Lucy Reed. I want to say it over and over.

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Reviews are welcome =))))))! They make me feel like people are actually reading my story. =) yeah I like reviews =))) -Saph**


	6. War

**A/N: Yay update! This chapter's pace is a little quick. I could've done better with it. I apologize for taking so long to update! I have been busy with camp, but I will continue to update as soon as possible. Big thanks to GM, Brian Alexander, Samantha Eleanor Lestrange, and futonboy 15 for reviewing! All of you rock!**

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: "Sweeney! Guess what!"**

**Sweeney: "What?"**

**Me: "I am a counselor in training!"**

**Sweeney: "And why on this disgusting planet do I care?"**

**Me: "Because I say you do."**

**Sweeney: "You do not own me nor my actions and feelings."**

**Me: "I am aware of this sad and devastating fact! Even so! I say you care! SO you care!" **

Walking home from the shop that night was awkward. Benjamin didn't really speak, not even to ask me about Lucas. His mind was preoccupied by something else. If only I could figure out what.

"Benjamin, Bethany, you're home!" Darla announced as we walking into the house. "You both arrived just in time, dinner is ready."

"Darla, please inform father and Elizabeth that I won't be joining you all for dinner tonight. I am not hungry." He hung his coat and climbed the stairs. I heard the sound of his door close as I stood in awe. What in the world happened today? He is acting so odd. It is not like him to act so strangely and not tell me what's wrong.

"So how was it at the shop today Bethany?" Father asked attempting to make conversation.

"Fine, the usual." I spent most of the day with Lucas. Benjamin didn't seem to mind very much, but maybe he did. Is that why he is upset?

Elizabeth nearly threw down her silverware in frustration. "Why do you even permit her to go with him? It is not proper! She should be here learning how to be a proper woman like me!" She is not a proper woman. She is a monster and a rapist. I do not think staying at home learning from someone like her will do anyone good.

"Father, excuse me I have lost my appetite." I refuse to deal with this disgusting woman constantly criticizing me. I left the dining area, instinctively heading towards Benjamin's room. I stopped short when I got to his door. Should I even go in? What if he is mad at me? What if me spending time with Lucas is why he is upset? Why didn't I just walk into his room like normal? Why am I questioning myself? I trust Benjamin more than anything don't I? Sop questioning yourself god dammit!

I take a deep breath and knocked on his door.

"Come in." Hearing his voice, no different than normal, gave me a slight boost of confidence as I opened the door into his room. "Oh Bethany, it is you. You don't normally knock."

"Yea I know, I was just checking on you. You didn't say anything on the way home and then skipped out on dinner. I was worried." He looked at me, shook his head, got up from his spot on the window seat, and trapped me in a giant bone crushing hug.

"You don't need to worry. Something amazing happened to me today Bethany. I think I'm in love."

"What?" I can't believe it. Could it be Benjamin has actually fallen in love?

"Yes her name Is Lucy Reed, she has beautiful blue eyes and yellow hair." He was beaming as he described her to me, what she wore, her smile, how she made his mind go fuzzy. He couldn't stop smiling. I had never seen him so happy. Not like this at least. Looking at him like this, I couldn't help to be happy too. I was happy for him, happy for me, happy for both of us.

Eventually I left him to his own thoughts and entered my own room. I collapsed on my bed and stared at the plain white ceiling. Why couldn't every day be like this? Why can't this feeling of happiness and love stay forever? It should stay forever. Isn't that how life is supposed to be, happy and in love? Benjamin is in love with Lucy and I am in love with Lucas. Life is good. I just hope it will last. I closed my eyes thinking about Lucas and fell asleep.

The next morning Elizabeth stormed in to wake me up and complained about me falling asleep in my dress. She begrudgingly forgot it to inform me that I wouldn't be allowed to go to the shop today. I was being forced to stay home and learn how to act like a "proper woman".

After I threw her out of my room I went into my wardrobe and picked out a deep green dress with black trim to wear. I grabbed a black ribbon off of my vanity table and used it to tie my hair up. I sighed as I looked in the mirror. It had been so long since I had been in the asylum, but at times the sight of me in normal clothes still seemed odd.

Down at the table sitting next to my brother I picked around at the food on my plate. Thoughts of the impending day caused me to lose any appetite.

Darla smiled and looked at me. "Aren't you excited Bethany? You get to spend the whole day with Mother and me!" I didn't respond, just continued to move around the food on my plate. Benjamin finished his breakfast and cleared his plate off the table. As he left the room to go and prepare to leave for work, I too picked my plate off the table. I Ran after him into the hallway.

"Benjamin! Don't let them keep me here!" I felt like an eight year old again, clinging to my brother for support.

"Hang in there Bethany. I'll be home as soon as I can." With those encouraging words he left me to a day of disaster.

Trudging into the main parlor, the first thing on the list of "proper woman mannerisms" was posture. She placed a book on my head and told me to walk across the room and back as I normally do. Doing as I was told the book wobbled a lot but did not fall. Coming back to my starting point Elizabeth wore a disgruntled look on her face. She stacked two more books on my head and asked me to repeat my walk across the room and back. I didn't get very far before they all painfully crashed down on top of me.

I turned to look at Elizabeth and saw her smirking to herself.

"Not as bad as I thought, but your posture is still atrocious." My posture is not atrocious. When you put a stack of heavy books on some one's head the stack will fall.

Darla, who had been sitting patiently piped up. "Mama, can I try the book again today?" her cheery face made me want to puke. She not only looks like her mother, but her father too. It only made me hate her more to see the resemblance between her and my brother. Elizabeth placed a book on Darla's head and she walked across the room and back. The book stayed, it hadn't even wobbled.

"Darla, your training has paid off. The book didn't even tilt today!" The obnoxious woman smiled down at her child. Darla smiled back with happiness and pride. I glared at both of them.

After more posture training, which thankfully wasn't much, Elizabeth announced that a few of her friends would be over soon for tea. She then ushered me upstairs to her wardrobe to pull out a yellow dress, which she gave to me, to wear. The same dress she wore when we met her. She gave me no choice and forced me to change into the horrid dress. She shoved me in front of a full length mirror and tied up my corset way too tight. I was suffocating and I could have sworn I heard my ribs strain against the death trap.

"Mama, the guests are here and are waiting in the main parlor." Darla relayed to us leaving as quickly as she came. I was pulled down the stairs to go meet and join the women for tea in the main parlor. As this was happening I was overcome with the feeling of dread. I was seated next to Darla on the lounge as the women began to prattle on about gossip and sip tea. Eventually one of the women turned to me and asked if I had heard anything worth sharing. I told her no, but left out the part where I don't partake is such an idiotic activity. This question drew the other women's attention toward me and they all began asking me questions.

"Is it true that you and your brother were locked away for five years in an asylum?" One woman asked curiously.

"Yes." A simple but curt reply, I didn't want to be there and I didn't want to answer questions. This is the type of thing women like them eat up.

"Lord! Then is it true! You murdered your mother?" Instead of backing away fearfully she just leaned in as if it would help her learn more.

"Oh but of course! I knew Mary-Ann! She was such a dear, nice young woman!" another woman interjected. "Personally I believe they should still be locked away were they won't hurt anyone again!" This rude behavior could not continue.

"I am right here, so If you have something to say direct it toward me. Also I ask you to not speak of my brother or me in such a manner ever again! And as for a dear and nice young woman, that I can assure you she was not. Mary-Ann Christine Laure Barker was a disgusting human being who abused and neglected her children. Now she is rotting in the deepest pits of hell, exactly where she belongs. Now if you will excuse me." I left to my room and slammed the door shut loud enough they could hear the reverberations. If this is how "proper women" act then I don't want to be one. As I struggled to breath against the tight corset, I roughly unlaced it and ripped of the disgusting yellow dress. How dare they speak of my brother and me that way? I stared at my naked body in the mirror and saw familiar looking red marks covering my torso. These welts were from the corset and would soon turn into ugly black and blue bruises. I could understand Elizabeth's goal now. She hates me. She wants to reject and shame me into blind submission. She wants me out of her way so she can have her perfect family. Well that will not happen. I swear as long as I still breathe and my heart beats, I will never let her get what she is looking for. If she wants a fight, I will give her a war.

**A/N: Great thanks for reading! Don't forget to review! -Saph**


	7. Sunday

**A/N: New chapter! Woohoo! Sorry I know it has been forever since I have updated. Inspiration for this chapter was hard. But now here it is for all of you wonderful people to read and review on! Thank you to GM, Teddy, futonboy15, Just Maya, Charlie C, and Brian Alexander for reviewing! Your reviews mean so much and defiantly help to get me to sit and write updates.**

**Disclaimer:**

**Sweeney: (looking out the window of the barber shop)**

**Me: (sitting on the trunk swinging my legs)**

**Toby: (slowly comes into the shop holding a tray with pies) "Um…. Mr. Todd Sir, Mum told me to bring you up some food."**

**Sweeney: "Well you go and tell her I am not hungry. Got that boy?"**

**Me: "Sweeney you should eat something!"**

**Sweeney: "You said yourself, you do not own me. Therefore you have no input."**

**Me: "Aw, c'mon Sweeney! Why not eat the guy you killed last night? What was he anyway? A banker or a business clerk?"**

**Sweeney: (mumbles something and turns to look back out the window)**

Today was Sunday, my brother's day off and one of the best days of the week. Father, Elizabeth, and Darla go to church, while Benjamin and I stay home. After all that we had endured, god didn't seem very high and mighty in our eyes. Not that they would let us in. We murdered out mother, our kind wasn't allowed in such a "holy" place.

The morning had gone as any other Sunday, we all ate breakfast and then, dressed in their Sunday best, Father, Elizabeth, and Darla left for church. Sundays were when Benjamin and I could be at home without two certain horrid beings tainting the air. We waved to them as they left and smiled as the carriage road out of sight.

We hadn't decided what we were going to do yet that day. So Benjamin offered for us to possibly start it off by shinning his razors.

I faced him and laughed. "I would love to my dear brother."

Upstairs in his room we began to polish the silver works of art. As we shined we sat in relative silence, until Benjamin broke it with, "About Lucas." I knew he would want to talk about it eventually. "He is a good person, and you seem to like him. So if he should ask to court you, you have my consent. I do not know about father though." That I did not expect.

I jumped up and hugged him tightly. I couldn't believe it! "Thank you, thank you so much." I didn't even know if Lucas would ask to court me or not. It was Benjamin's thought that really counted. "So? How about Lucy? When do you plan to go ask her father?" If we were talking about Lucas, I would not simply let the topic of Lucy go unnoticed.

He looked at me and shook his head. "I am not exactly certain when yet. I would want to talk to her first, to see if she has interest in me as well. I do not want to force her into anything."

"You always were a gentleman." I smiled at him brightly.

"Yes, yes, now," he handed me another of his razors, "polish." We laughed and continued to work until every last razor showed our reflections.

After we decided to go and walk out by the docks. They weren't nearly as busy as they usually were. It was rather quiet strolling along, watching the boats bob up and down. One ship had just docked and a few sailors wandered off heading in various directions, probably to pubs. One of them stood and looked back at the ship slinging his pack over his shoulder. The captain walked up to him and spoke. "Are you sure you want to leave Hope?"

"Yes Captain. My time at sea has been fantastic, but I think I will take a break. Settle down."

"I don't know wot' you're thinking. Broads are easy to come by why, would you want to attach yourself to one?"

"Just feel like it's time to start a family. Who knows? I might be back one day!"

"You are a strange man Marcus Hope, a very strange man."

So it looks like Marcus did well as a sailor. I guess now he is trying to fair his way with a family. I hope he does as well as he did before at sea.

We walked home and enjoyed the rest of the day talking about various stupid topics. By the time everybody had returned from church it was evening, just before dinner. I looked out the window to see that Lucas was with them. Why was he here? Benjamin told me to stay. He left the room, and I heard the faint sound of his footsteps down the stairs. What on earth was going on? More footsteps, only this time coming towards me.

"Bethany! Father wants you downstairs! There is someone to see you!" She smiled at me. "And he is handsome too!" She made my blood boil in frustration. Stupid child. I took a deep breath and composed myself. Lucas was down stairs. He was here to see me. I walked into the main parlor and when I saw him my heart skipped a beat. I was nervous.

"Hello Lucas. To what do I owe this pleasure?" I spotted Benjamin standing nearby next to our father her was smiling to himself.

Father cleared his throat and spoke. "Lucas has come and asked permission to court you. Neither your Brother nor I have an issue, but like I have said the final decision is yours.

"Yes." I didn't even have to think. I just knew. This was everything I had been hoping for. Finally things in my life are looking up. My smile did nothing to hide my excitement or elation. I walked over to where Benjamin and Father were standing.

"Thank you both, so very much." I hugged Benjamin and nodded at my father. Plans were made, and it was decided that Lucas would come over tomorrow after work for dinner. Then it would be made for me to have dinner with his family. From then on more plans would be made. I didn't really care though. All I could think about was Lucas and his amazing smile. That smile was the last thing I thought about before I fell asleep. A smile that hopefully I would see for years to come.

**A/N: OK I would like my readers' opinion on something. Should I continue with this time period in the story or continue in the next. I know that I will have one or two more chapters for this time period already. I want to know how much more you guys think I should write for it though. I have a poll up on my profile please submit your answer there. Posting it in a review is fine to whatever is most convenient. Thanks. -Saph **


	8. No

**A/N: OK first off. I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so sooooooooooo very sorry! I know it has been like two months since I last updated and I feel terrible. I became very busy at camp working and when I got home I was exhausted. When I finally had time to write it wasn't very much. When I had finished writing the chapter I had till yet to edit it. I know it is all just a bunch of excuses but yeah I am so sorry. Like majorly sorry! I hope you guys are still willing to read this. I am going to try and update at least once a week. Ok so thanks to Charlie C., AndromedaTodd, and Spring Sunrise for reviewing! **

**Disclaimer:**

**Mrs. Lovett: (bursts into tonsorial parlor) Mr. T? Is it true?**

**Sweeney: Is WHAT true woman?**

**Mrs. Lovett: Is it true that Saphire doesn't own you!**

**Me: Unfortunately so. =(**

**Mrs. Lovett: Does that mean he is up for takes? I can own him?**

**Sweeney: GAH! WHAT!**

**Me: No, sorry Mrs. Lovett. Copy write infringement so on and so forth.**

**Sweeney: (sighs in relief)**

**Mrs. Lovett: (sulks back down to the bake shop)**

Benjamin POV

Dinner was sitting comfortably in my stomach, Bethany was sitting comfortably by her window, and the idea of going to talk to Lucy was sitting quite comfortably in my head. My heart was rushing with adrenaline as I made the decision. I would go and ask Lucy if she had feelings for me. If she did, I would ask her father for her hand. I hurried out the door without bothering to inform anyone of my excursion.

I walked the cobblestone roads to her home on Apothecary Street. I took several deep breaths before knocking on the pristine white door. A maid answered and led me inside to their main parlor. She then left to fetch Mr. Reed. I glanced around at my surroundings, a family portrait hanging over the mantelpiece along with various nick-knacks atop it. The sound of quiet footsteps coming down the hall stole me from my thoughts. Turning my head I see Lucy wearing the same blue dress as she did when I first met her. She looked so very beautiful in that dress.

"Mr. Barker is that you? What are you doing here? Do you have business with my father?" My heart was pounding and all the blood rushed to my head.

"I do. I have come to ask permission to court you. I am very fond of you and believe you are the most stunning and beautiful gir- woman. That I have ever seen. If you do not feel the same way about me I will leave now and forget any such notion. Lucy I will not force you into anything you don't want." Nervous sweat gathered on my palms and forehead as I waited for her reply.

"Did you just call me Lucy?" My heart almost stopped. Should I have called her Miss Reed?

"If you prefer me not to I won't."

"No. Lucy is perfect. You remembered my name?"

"How could I forget it? The mere sound of it makes my head buzz."

"Benjamin, if I may be so bold as to call you that, since I met you that day I have been unable to get you out of my thoughts. I would be honored and very happy if you would ask my father for permission to court me." And now my heart did stop or at the very least skip a few beats. She said yes. She wanted to be with me as I with her. I just need her father's permission.

At that moment the maid came into the room, Mr. Reed in tail.

"Benjamin, what do you need at such an hour?"

"I am sorry Mr. Reed but the matter is quite urgent to me."

"What is it?"

"I have come to ask your permission to court and eventually marry your wonderful, beautiful daughter."

The seconds in waiting that followed were horrific. I saw Mr. Reed's expression turn from confused to angered and then to pitied.

"No." My very soul shattered, into dust. And that one terrible horrible word is the cause.

"Why?" It was the only word I could possibly choke out.

"Benjamin, you are an amazing barber, but you were in an institution for years because you killed your mother. Reformed or not I would not be comfortable with you courting my daughter." Each word was another stab at my heart and at my entire being.

"Please! At least give me a chance to prove myself!" I would beg and plead if I must. "I love her and I will go to any measure to prove that." The reluctance to the idea was relevant on his face. If only he could see how much I loved her.

"OK, you may have a chance to prove yourself. A dinner, and if it goes well you may court my daughter." Relief washed over me.

"Oh yes. Thank you so much! I promise I will prove myself." I excused myself and hurried home with a determination to do just that. I had gotten a chance!

I walked through the front entrance and headed straight up to Bethany's room. I knocked on the door and heard her voice call me in.

"Listen Bethany, I just left from the Reed's. I went to go ask for permission to court Lucy."

"Well, what happened? What did he say?"

"Unfortunately he said no."

"What! That can't be! I will go and give that old fart a piece of my mind!"

"No, Bethany you mustn't! Besides he said that he would give me an opportunity to prove myself."

"What?"

"Yes, a dinner. In two nights time I will go back to the Reed residence and I will prove my worth."

"I can't believe that he didn't say yes right away. Oh but, Benjamin I just know you will be able to do it."

"Thank you. I truly hope that I can." Silence passed between us for a few minutes before Bethany broke it.

"Benjamin?"

"Yes Bethany?"

"Things are good now aren't they? Things are happy. I think I like it very much."

"I believe you're right. I think I like it too."

That night the house seemed to sit in a somewhat happy, comfortable silence.

**A/N: Sorry this chapter is on the short side. I truly do hope that people are still reading this. Those of you who are I am very grateful. I mention before that I have a poll up. It didn't seem to want to go up on my profile but it is up there now. The poll is about whether I should continue on with this current time period or skip to the next. Feel free to go and vote or voice an opinion via review. -Saph**


	9. Dinner Part 1

**A/N: I could bore you with a list of excuses about why I haven't updated like I usually do, but I won't. I will say I am sorry. I really am. I hope people are still reading this, I understand if many have lost faith. But I am still here and I promise wholeheartedly I am trying to update as quick as I can. Please forgive me. So! Read, enjoy or don't, and please review! Constructive criticism is welcome.**

**Disclaimer:**

**Me: Sweeney.**

**Sweeney: Yes?**

**Me: I don't own you.**

**Sweeney: I am aware.**

**Me: Yeah I know. I just wanted to bug you about something! =)**

**Sweeney: When are you NOT annoying me?**

**Me: Touché.**

Bethany's POV

This was it, tonight is the dinner with the Shrift family. I don't believe I have ever been this nervous. What should I wear, my purple dress, maybe my red one? Yes, the red one's best. Tonight I would meet Lucas's parents. And he would meet mine. After dressing and fixing my hair I looked in the mirror and smiled at my reflection. Things had really been changing for the better. Benjamin and I's lives were really turning around.

Down in the dining room breakfast had already been served and cleared away. This would mean trouble. I had slept in late, and I was sure to get an earful from Elizabeth.

"Bethany!" Think of the devil and it shall appear in haste. "Where were you this morning at breakfast?"

"I was sleeping Elizabeth." She truly is stupid. Even so I have no doubts she can hear the venom in my words.

"You are lucky I didn't wake you up! You must start acting proper! It is inappropriate to sleep late. You have missed breakfast and will not get anything until dinner. You are fortunate I am not restricting you from that tonight. Next time your punishment will be extenuatingly more severe. Also I grow tired of your childish antics. You will begin call me mother, not Elizabeth. That man that is coming over tonight is obviously blind. You not only are ugly, but you have a foul attitude and little to nonexistent manners. Let us hope his parents see through your terrible façade." I bit down on my tongue and it drew blood. Her monstrous eyes looked me over. "Is that what you are wearing?" She chuckled mockingly and turned to leave.

How does father not see the villain she is? How do no one but Benjamin and I see? How is it she can call _her_self proper? I am aware I am not the perfect lady I should be, but I do not go around raping my step-son or belittling my step-daughter. How much longer am I to endure her?

Night had fallen. I stood in front of the full length mirror, straightening out my dress and hair, stomach home to a balled up pit of nerves. A light knock came from my bedroom door.

"Are you decent sister?"

"Yes Benjamin, come in." He stepped inside and smiled at me warmly.

"You are gorgeous! Lucas is waiting for you downstairs, as well as his parents. They will love you Bethany." He was reassuring me and I could feel the pit loosen slightly.

We walked down to the parlor together, me with a nervous smile on my face. Benjamin's held one of amusement.

I looked to Lucas. He was smiling from ear to ear, gorgeous green eyes shining. "Mother, Father, this is Bethany Barker." I smiled politely at them both and bowed my head.

"It's wonderful to meet the pair of you."

A tall greying man stood before me, who I assumed to be Lucas's father. "No, the pleasure is all ours Miss Barker. We have heard very fond things about you from our son."

"Yes, you make him very happy." Lucas's mother added.

"Well, I do believe that diner is about ready. Let us all move to the dining table." Father led the way into the dining room. I took my seat in between Benjamin and Lucas, which unfortunately was also across from Elizabeth.

"Mr. Barker, what a truly wonderful daughter you have here." Lucas smiled and held my hand. I felt myself flush at his words.

"Yes, a wonder indeed." Elizabeth's plastered smile and condescending attitude sent my mind reeling with foul words toward her. I glanced at Lucas's parents and attempted to calm down. She wants to ruin this. I refuse to let her win.

"Why thank you Lucas, _Elizabeth_, but I assure you I really am not all that special."

"I disagree dear. The way Lucas cares for you, you must be beyond special." Lucas's mother piped in.

"Yes, don't be so humble. You really are special dear, so special that you finally were let out of that asylum after years, a particularly rare occurrence." Elizabeth's passive aggressive comment made the room silent. My heart was racing with anger and fear. Had they not known? Had I mentioned it to Lucas? I can't remember. Benjamin is not attempting to hide his venomous glare towards our step-wench.

"Quite right you are, it truly is rare, but there is always the possibility these two fine young adults were perfectly sane to begin with." I stared in awe at Lucas's mother. Elizabeth was agape at the challenge. "I once had the _pleasure_ of meet Mary- Ann once. She was an _interesting_ woman, but she came off rather cold and uncaring." The aged woman gave a supportive smile at Benjamin, Lucas, and I.

Victor Barker continued in his obliviousness and Elizabeth decided not to say much else for the duration of the evening. In all the dinner went wonderfully. I also truly adore Lucas's parents, and especially his mother. She is much like the mum I always wished I might have had. Many days and nights in the asylum I often wondered what our lives would have been like with a caring woman and not Mary- Ann. Then when we were returned home, Elizabeth had taken her place. I had begun wondering if all mothers were so callous and evil. Now with Lucas's mother, Katarine, I had discovered the latter statement to be false. This caring and supportive woman is all a mother should be, and she is to eventually be my mother-in-law.

**A/N: Thank you for reading! Yes I'm sorry it is short. It was supposed to be longer but instead I made it into two chapters so it wasn't too long. Please click that amazing button right there and leave a review! I'll send you a meat pie of your choice! Or a cookie! Both? Review! **


	10. Ultimatum

**A/N: So yeah I was going to update a few weeks ago but my laptop broke while I was editing. It is still broken but I was able to get my files transferred to my desktop. I know it's short but I promise the next one will be longer. This is pretty much a transition chapter. Please don't hate me for never updating (I hate myself enough for it!). Thanks go out to Elle Darklight Pynke and Tealhearteopard for reviewing! Anyway please relax, read, and review!**

**Disclaimer:**

**Saph: "Sweeney?"**

**Sweeney: "What is it girl?"**

**Saph: "I'm sorry."**

**Sweeney: "I cannot believe I am asking this, but for what?"**

**Saph: "Not being able to own you."**

**Sweeny: (glowers)**

Bethany's dinner last night went splendidly well. Now it was Sunday, and later tonight is my dinner. I can only hope for it to go as well. Everything is riding on it. I need to prove that I'm not a dangerous murderer. I need to show I'm sane and responsible, a good man. Unfortunately the odds of all going well are slim to none. This is certainly a bad day to not have work distracting me.

I decide to wake Bethany so she won't oversleep again. "Bethany, it is morning." I shake her lightly and she stirs.

"I'm up, I'm awake." I smile and leave her to dress. Out in the corridor Elizabeth is standing steely faced.

"We need to talk Benjamin." She grabs me by my collar and shoves me into my room. "We have a slight problem. You have it in your head to prove yourself and get that Lucy whore. You are used goods Benjamin, you are mine. I won't allow you to be with anyone else. If you go through with this, I will make you suffer, your sister suffer, and Lucy as well. I'll send Bethany back to the asylum where men will do far worse to her then I have done to you. And poor Lucy, she will end her own pathetic life far too early. Is that what you want? Do you want them to suffer like that? If you truly cared you would stop this madness and move on. You are worthless to everyone except me. You will realize this eventually, easy or difficult." Not even bothering to wait for a response she struts out as if she had just called me to breakfast and not destroyed everything. Can I let her use me like this again? Can I risk not letting her?

Bethany walks in wearing her purple dress. "Benjamin! Let's eat and then go on a walk!" I try my hardest to smile at her and nod. Her face lit up. I can't let Elizabeth hurt Bethany or Lucy. I will go to the dinner tonight. I will tell Lucy that I decided that we could never be. She will find another, she is beautiful. She will find a good man to treat her well. I would surely sacrifice my own happiness for my sister's and Lucy's safety. Elizabeth knows this and is using it against me, and I can do nothing but allow her too.

The rare sunshine of the outside world is unbefitting of my inner sorrow. I keep a smile plastered on for Bethany, I needn't worry her.

"Benjamin, is something the matter?" I guess I wasn't doing as well as I thought I was.

"Just nerves dear sister! I do have a very imperative dinner tonight."

"Oh brother, as I have told you already, things will go swimmingly! The dinner will be perfect and wonderful and you and Lucy shall live the happiest of lives!" I almost weep at her optimism. If I didn't know the pain that was to come her words may have actually assured me.

"Of course Bethany, I know you're right." She smile reassuringly at her and then continue to walk. Tonight will be more difficult then I first believed. Bethany wants me to be with Lucy, to be happy. She may never forgive me for what I am to do tonight. I can only hope that she may somehow understand I'm only doing it for her and Lucy. I can only hope she _won't_ realize that I am doing this to protect them from Elizabeth.

**A/N: So there you have it, Chapter 10 of Shades! I hope you all enjoyed this short but eventful chapter. Please, please, please review! If you do you get your own choice of cookie or meat pie! -Saph**


	11. Dinner Part 2

**A/N: So yeah I know, yet another long wait. RL kind sucks. But it's getting better. School is almost over so I have more time on my hands. Despite this chapter being extremely short I believe it came out well. Thanks go out to Tealheartleopard, Jill your amazing daughter, and Vally Navarre Gudred Vadik for reviewing! Love you guys! R&R! Enjoy the chapter. **

**Disclaimer:**

**Saph: I need….more…ways to….**

**Sweeney: To?**

**Saph: Tell people I don't own you! *sobs***

**Sweeney: I really am getting tired of this…**

Benjamin's POV

Mr. Reed acted the part of courteous host. My father and he got to talking business and Elizabeth and Mrs. Reed chattered away about their dresses and gossip. Lucy hadn't arrived yet and I was dreading the moment of which I would crush her and myself. Bethany took my nervousness to be my burden of proof and supported me as the perfect sister she was.

My breath hitched as Lucy walked in. Her blond curls in a neat up-do, her body clad in an elegant deep blue gown. She looked innocent and beautiful. My heart wrenched and I tried not to think of what I was going to do. She smiled at me brightly and my guilt churned my stomach as I did my best to smile back. I had to remind myself that I was doing this to protect her and Bethany.

It was then that Elizabeth spoke, breaking through my troubling thoughts. "Oh Lucy, aren't you just… breathless." She smirked sweetly and glanced in my direction.

It took all of my will not to launch myself at her. I looked away and turned back to Lucy. "Yes, she does." I said as normally as I could manage. Bethany squeezed my hand once more before letting go and standing up to greet Lucy.

"Lucy, it's wonderful to finally meet you. Benjamin has told me so much."

Lucy smiled back warmly at my sister and replied, "And you're Bethany, Ben's twin sister! It is wonderful to meet you as well." Any further conversation was quickly stopped when a maid announced dinner and ushered us quickly into the dining room.

We all took our seats, and I was fortunate enough to be nowhere near Elizabeth. The fine china was quickly filled with steaming food that tasted as wonderful as it looked. It was unfortunate that I couldn't stand to eat much of it, I was sick to my stomach. Dinner went extremely well, Elizabeth didn't try to undermine anything, or bring up the past. Though I'm sure she knew she didn't need to. She knew that if she were to ruin the dinner, it would make things easier for me to not see Lucy. Elizabeth didn't want me making excuses when it was time.

All but Lucy and I were in the parlor. We had strayed behind and remained in the now empty dining room. I knew it was now or never, I felt as if I was going to puke. "Lucy, may we talk?"

She smiled her dazzling smile at me, the one that would usually warm me, but now only made me feel cold and utterly miserable. "Of course we may Ben."

"I cannot court you." I could hear my heart tearing as that smile fell from her beautiful face.

"What do you mean? The dinner went splendidly." Her blond brows knitted together in confusion.

"I am sorry, but I can't court you. I am afraid that even though your father may allow me to do so now, I am not permitted to do so by my own parents." I watched as her confusion mixed with anger.

"Ben if your parents were not going to permit you to court me, than this dinner would have never happened. Now tell me the truth." It was obvious that my lie was not going to work. I felt like screaming. Why couldn't she have just accepted my initial reasoning! Now I have no choice but to be cruel.

"Okay. Miss Reed, I am personally not interested in courting you. I am not now nor was I ever. I was merely being blinded by adolescent desire. I apologize dearly for wasting your time." I nodded to her and pretending not to see her tears or hear her sobs, I left the room.

Walking into the parlor Elizabeth immediately looked my way and smirked triumphantly. I only glared hatefully back. She then feigned a yawn at my father and tactfully stated that it was late and that they should be getting home. Before getting into the carriage Elizabeth whispered in my ear, "You did the right thing." Upon hearing her say those horrid words I wretched.

**A/N: More to come soon! Don't forget to review! Please? Maybe? You get a cookie and/or meat pie!**


	12. Necessary

**A/N: Hey…um please… don't kill me… RL is complicated…. and… and… Being honest this was sitting on my wonderful laptop Ian for a long while. It was waiting for me to go through it. Also I didn't reply to reviews -which I was horrified to realize! I really am so sorry guys! You'll get double of whatever you choose this time! Thank you though to all my wonderful reviewers for last chapter: Tealheartleopard, Elle Darklight, and ilovecolby21! This chapter is dedicated to Elle Darklight as tonight is her birthday party and I can't be there! Also if Elle Darklight doesn't mind I aslo dedicate this chapter to my wonderful beta: Rebarbative! Yes that's right! I finally have one! Now you can read these meager updates without cringing at the awful grammar! So yes… am I forgiven?**

**Disclaimer:**

**Saph: *sobbing* "I don't own Sweeney Todd!"**

**Sweeney: "WHY WON'T YOU GO AWAY!"**

**Saph: *sniff* "Also…" *sob* "I HATE LARTEN CREPSLEY" *mumbles* "Stupid truth or dare…."**

**AND I LOVE STEVE ~Rebarbative ;)**

_Bethany's POV_

I hated Benjamin. How could he do this! What was he thinking! He had been acting melancholy since dinner, but I didn't know why. It hadn't mattered how many times I told him that everything went wonderfully! None of my attempts to cheer him worked. And now I know why! How could he say such things, such lies? He didn't even tell me what he was planning! No, but instead he acted on his own blasphemous accord! Instead it was Lucy who informed me of what actually happened at dinner. I couldn't believe he could have been so empty headed.

_**Flashback**_

_The sun was bright and warm, shining down upon London, glittering off the pavement as I walked through St. Dunstan's Market. I was_

_looking at a cart full of roses when I spotted Lucy across the way, browsing through different fabrics. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. _

_"Lucy!" I shouted with a smile._

_As I called out and waved to the wheat haired girl, she frowned sadly and turned away from me. Saddened and utterly curious, I walked over to her to find out why she reacted so strangely. I gawked in surprise as Lucy told me of my brother's cold, hateful words. Tears trailed down her cheeks as she revealed to me all of what happened that night. My confusion quickly turned to anger. None of it made any sense! The adoration in my brother's voice and eyes when he spoke of Lucy was certainly not simply "adolescent desire". It was with love that he spoke her name!_

_**End Flashback**_

I did not speak to Benjamin for the rest of the evening. I said a few choice words when he walked in, but that was it. Nor do I plan on saying anything else to him. He is blatantly ruining his life and I will have no part in it. How could he expect me to? He hadn't even explained why he did what he did. He just stood there, silent, unmoving. Even so, I still missed my brother. But if ignoring him would get him to see sense… I will do what I must to get my brother back.

_Benjamin's POV_

Bethany hated me. She couldn't understand why I did what I did. Given enough time I'm sure she would figure it out, but I can only hope she doesn't. What she would to do Elizabeth if she knew –not that Elizabeth doesn't deserve all the horrors Bethany could throw at her– could be disastrous. Bethany would certainly get sent back to the asylum. I couldn't tell her of the horror I committed –I was too ashamed– but unfortunately Lucy did. They ran into each other at the market, as people so often do, and now Bethany knows all the horrid details of what happened that night. She hadn't said a word to me since I came home to find her waiting to berate me.

_**Flashback**_

"_How could you! What on earth is wrong with you! Have you suddenly gone daft!"" Bethany raved, wind-milling her arms angrily_

_I could do nothing but watch as she continued to yell. I needn't ask about what; it could only be about what had transpired between Lucy and me._

"_How dare you throw away love and happiness as if it were an old, useless toy? The disrespect! The ludicrousy! you must have gone mad! What other explination could there be?" she huffed angrily when I said nothing. "Well! What do you have to say!" _

_Still I was unmoved, speechless, unfeeling. If I let myself feel anything, I would fall apart. Bethany shook her head in disappointment. And then, my sister, the only one I could truly trust, walked away without another word._

_**End Flashback**_

Bethany had said nothing to me since. She hadn't even looked at me –much less acknowledged my existence. I missed my sister. I missed Lucy. And quite frankly, I deserved every lonely minute without them for what I had done. But if loneliness and misery was the price to protect them, then I would gladly pay.

**A/N: Thanks for reading guys! Again I really hope you all don't hate me and I am SO sorry for both the short far spread updates and not replying to your amazing reviews! They really mean the world to me! Don't stop sending them! Please? For Sweeney? Also as promised, reviewers get double the bounty on either meat pies or cookies! I WILL UPDATE SOON! If not you guys can come and mob me!**


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